The following is an excerpt from a commentary GeorgeAnn Grubb, YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program Director, wrote that appeared in the Sunday Gazette-Mail.
Hearing about the tragic death of 19-year-old Na'lisha Fiona Gravely last weekend evoked a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching response that I know was shared by thousands in our community and across the state. Domestic violence advocates and community members alike experienced a wave of emotions from grief to anger as they read the horrendous description of the four years of violence this young woman withstood at the hands of her "first love."
As the director of the YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program, one of 14 licensed domestic violence service providers in West Virginia, I know I ask the immediate question on all our hearts: "Could this outcome have been avoided?"
Although this tragedy is very near to our hearts because it took place right here in our own back yard, it is easy to overlook the big picture. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief on Intimate Partner Violence, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country on average every day. In our state alone, a domestic violence-related death occurs an average of once every eight days.
To read the entire commentary on the Gazette's website, click here.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
YWCA supports vigil, fund for Gravely
While the YWCA of Charleston works tirelessly each day to eliminate domestic violence through leadership, education, advocacy and community collaboration, we also support domestic violence victims and their families in every way we can. Some we reach through shelter and emergency services like our 24-hour crisis line. Others we help through legal advocacy. Still more we reach through educational programs like our Teen Dating Violence Prevention program, where middle and high school students learn about healthy dating relationships that are rooted in equality, trust, honesty and mutual respect, instead of power and control.In the case of Nalisha Gravely, we are helping her family by supporting a candlelight vigil and fund in her honor. The candlelight vigil will be held Friday, July 11 at 7:00 pm on Magic Island and will include special guest speakers, musical and dance tributes, poem readings and other special tributes to honor this young woman and inspire hope in the family and the community. Learn more about this event here.
Also, at the request of Charleston Mayor Danny Jones, the YWCA established a special fund in Gravely’s honor. This fund will help Gravely’s family members pay for her funeral and burial. More than $4,000 is still needed to cover the total expenses. Donations received above this amount will provide support for Gravely’s 2-year-old child. All donations are tax deductible and can be mailed or dropped off at the YWCA at 1114 Quarrier Street, Charleston, WV 25301.
We are truly inspired by the way we see our community pull together in these times of tragedy, and we wish to support this grieving family in any way that we can.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Domestic violence rears its ugly head, again
Tragedy has struck the Charleston community once again. Nalisha Fiona Gravely, 20, died Saturday afternoon in a West Side Taco Bell after a man with whom she shared a child allegedly gunned her down.
A young life has ended because of senseless violence. And the Charleston community has a lot of questions with no easy answers.
Why did she stay?
How did a man who allegedly stabbed, shot and beat this woman in multiple incidents beat the court system to be freed each time?
Why is domestic violence accepted in some households and in our legal system?
How does our community work together to end the cycle of domestic violence in our community?
We don’t have easy answers. We don’t have simple answers. But we have information and statistics we can share with you.
“She” can be any woman who struggles with the internal demons of how to survive on her own and ensure the safety of her child(ren.) She stays because he has threatened to kill her, her children or other family members if she attempts to leave. She stays because he has verbally abused her for so many years that she doesn’t believe in herself and her ability to care for herself or her family. She stays because she has no financial resources to use for escape. On average, it takes a woman who is suffering from domestic violence five to seven attempts before she will leave her abuser for good. This doesn’t mean the four to six previous attempts are failures. It means that on the final time she had enough strength and support from facilities like the YWCA’s domestic violence shelter, Hope House, and was successful in her attempt.
The question is why was this abuser able to roam free? Well, that’s a question to ask professionals, elected officials and community leaders in our court system. The YWCA of Charleston works with 13 other agencies through the West Virginia Domestic Violence Coalition to educate those professionals and elected officials to the very real danger of domestic violence and the appropriate measures to take. One such measure is to be court-ordered to attend the YWCA’s Batterers Intervention and Prevention Program. This 32-week program helps the abuser learn to cope with his own emotions and how to deal with his stresses in a healthy manner and holds him accountable for his violent actions.
The greater Charleston community can respond to this horrific event in two ways: 1) continue to bury your head in the sand and pretend domestic violence doesn’t exist or 2) volunteer for, join and support agencies like the YWCA of Charleston, which works 365 days a year to end domestic violence.
The YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program offers 24/7 crisis intervention and shelter for victims of domestic violence in a Kanawha, Clay and Boone counties. The program’s mission is to eliminate domestic violence through leadership, education, empowerment and community collaboration. You can volunteer for this or any of the YWCA programs. You can also financially support the YWCA and its programs. One simple way to show your support for this YWCA program and to take a stance against domestic violence? Enjoy an fun evening out with your friends at Girls Night Out, which benefits the YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program.
This isn’t a problem that will go away overnight. Our community must continue to address this ugly social injustice that crosses all socio-economic lines by continuing to ask for stronger laws for abusers; providing more resources for domestic violence victims; and refusing to accept this behavior in our society.
A young life has ended because of senseless violence. And the Charleston community has a lot of questions with no easy answers.
Why did she stay?
How did a man who allegedly stabbed, shot and beat this woman in multiple incidents beat the court system to be freed each time?
Why is domestic violence accepted in some households and in our legal system?
How does our community work together to end the cycle of domestic violence in our community?
We don’t have easy answers. We don’t have simple answers. But we have information and statistics we can share with you.
“She” can be any woman who struggles with the internal demons of how to survive on her own and ensure the safety of her child(ren.) She stays because he has threatened to kill her, her children or other family members if she attempts to leave. She stays because he has verbally abused her for so many years that she doesn’t believe in herself and her ability to care for herself or her family. She stays because she has no financial resources to use for escape. On average, it takes a woman who is suffering from domestic violence five to seven attempts before she will leave her abuser for good. This doesn’t mean the four to six previous attempts are failures. It means that on the final time she had enough strength and support from facilities like the YWCA’s domestic violence shelter, Hope House, and was successful in her attempt.
The question is why was this abuser able to roam free? Well, that’s a question to ask professionals, elected officials and community leaders in our court system. The YWCA of Charleston works with 13 other agencies through the West Virginia Domestic Violence Coalition to educate those professionals and elected officials to the very real danger of domestic violence and the appropriate measures to take. One such measure is to be court-ordered to attend the YWCA’s Batterers Intervention and Prevention Program. This 32-week program helps the abuser learn to cope with his own emotions and how to deal with his stresses in a healthy manner and holds him accountable for his violent actions.
The greater Charleston community can respond to this horrific event in two ways: 1) continue to bury your head in the sand and pretend domestic violence doesn’t exist or 2) volunteer for, join and support agencies like the YWCA of Charleston, which works 365 days a year to end domestic violence.
The YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program offers 24/7 crisis intervention and shelter for victims of domestic violence in a Kanawha, Clay and Boone counties. The program’s mission is to eliminate domestic violence through leadership, education, empowerment and community collaboration. You can volunteer for this or any of the YWCA programs. You can also financially support the YWCA and its programs. One simple way to show your support for this YWCA program and to take a stance against domestic violence? Enjoy an fun evening out with your friends at Girls Night Out, which benefits the YWCA Resolve Family Abuse Program.
This isn’t a problem that will go away overnight. Our community must continue to address this ugly social injustice that crosses all socio-economic lines by continuing to ask for stronger laws for abusers; providing more resources for domestic violence victims; and refusing to accept this behavior in our society.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Celebrating Independence
Tomorrow we celebrate the 4th of July: our nation’s day to celebrate independence. As I reflect on this holiday each year, I think about the freedoms that we have in America...freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to assemble. Just read our Constitution’s Bill of Rights and you can clearly see the principles of liberty and inalienable human rights upon which our nation was based. By declaring our independence, our nation to broke free from excessive laws and taxes passed down by a government that would not grant them representation.
Independence does not always have to be reflected on such a grand scale, however. Many individuals celebrate independence on a much more personal level – such as a young child experiencing her first sleepover party or a teenager receiving his own set of car keys. Here at the YWCA of Charleston, we celebrate independence every day as we help our clients experience true independence for the first time. Sometimes it means helping a young woman and her child move from transitional housing into their very own apartment. Other times it means helping a woman break free from her abuser and re-establish a life free of violence. It can even mean providing quality childcare to a single mother, giving her the assurance that her children are in a safe and positive environment while she works during the day to support her family.
No matter how great or small, freedom is an attribute that we often take for granted. I am grateful that one hot summer day each year, we can look at the stars and stripes and be reminded of how truly precious independence is. So from every mountainside, let freedom ring!
Independence does not always have to be reflected on such a grand scale, however. Many individuals celebrate independence on a much more personal level – such as a young child experiencing her first sleepover party or a teenager receiving his own set of car keys. Here at the YWCA of Charleston, we celebrate independence every day as we help our clients experience true independence for the first time. Sometimes it means helping a young woman and her child move from transitional housing into their very own apartment. Other times it means helping a woman break free from her abuser and re-establish a life free of violence. It can even mean providing quality childcare to a single mother, giving her the assurance that her children are in a safe and positive environment while she works during the day to support her family.
No matter how great or small, freedom is an attribute that we often take for granted. I am grateful that one hot summer day each year, we can look at the stars and stripes and be reminded of how truly precious independence is. So from every mountainside, let freedom ring!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Website gets a facelift
We are proud to launch our new website today.
Not only are we sporting a fresh look, but now our supporters can:
- register online for our events
- make an online donation
- learn about our programs and stores
- get the latest YWCA news
- discover volunteer opportunities
- easily access this blog.
We would like to thank Terradon Communications for their partial donation of our website.
Visit us today at http://www.ywcacharleston.org/ and let us know what you think about our new look.
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